Purely Selfish

Every body’s,
Got a reason,
Client,
Customer,
Capitalist for sure,
Castrated
Saturated,
Masturbated,
Sexual and pure,
Wants for you,
Wants for me,
Wants for everybody,
They ain’t here,
You ain’t there,
Only one thin line,
To declare,
A moment,
Of self,
A moment in time,
A moment they want,
Just in your line,
If not for them,
Then another,
Brother Sister,
Father Mother,
They all want,
We all need,
That moment of greed,
Wouldn’t be there,
Wouldn’t know the time,
It’s all purely selfish,
And always right on time.
FenniganT 10.18.10

Hood

There’s him,
There’s her,
There’s me,
There’s you,
There’s this
There’s that
There’s those,
There’s them,
There’s choices,
There’s voices,
There’s alcohol,
There’s pot,
There’s coke,
There’s pills,
There’s hills,
There’s valleys,
There’s bumps,
In the road,
There’s sanity,
There’s vanity,
Nothins for sure,
Accept the fact,
Gods in charge,
In the hood,
We can make it out,
Follow his way,
There’s love,
There’s forgiveness’,
All can be understood,
If we just follow his word,
FenniganT 10.16.10

Happy anniversary

Today,
Tonight,
I was there,
No repair,
No paint,
Only Pain,
No fake,
Only they,
Who,
Bent me,
Who,
Sent me,
Over the edge,
Didn’t break me,
Let me loose,
Didn’t know why,
Or where ,
For sure why,
I didn’t cry,
Until now,
I see,
What it brought me,
Everything……………………
Happy anniversary!
FenniganT 10.15.10

A First

Night,
Always,
Crept,
Slept,
Dreamt,
Woke,
Screaming,
Wept,
Deep,
Place,
Head,
Dead,
Cleaned,
Out,
Faded,
Out,
Without,
Dying,
Without,
Crying,
First,
Time,
Ever,
Peace,
Led,
Me,
To sleep,
Without,
Waking,
The demons in my head………………
FenniganT 10.15.10

Silenced

No ones here,
No call of my name,
No welcome home,
No will you play with me,
No dinner served,
No blessing,
No honor earned,
No peace around,
No acting the clown,
No running in the house,
No damn that mouse,
No soft music,
No laughing at all,
No family,
No joy,
No day,
No night,
No snuggle,
No doubt
No recall,
In silence,
In quiet,
I lost it all,
Silenced,
Again for being Fennigan………….
Fennigan T 10.14.10

His Way

Always been good,
At taken care of others,
Thought it was all,
I was made to do,
Change the diapers,
Dry the tears,
Run away the monsters,
Soothe their fears,
Sometimes there where so many,
That sleep was the only,
Way to be alone,
Then I was,
I feared my worth was gone,
Sang a sad song,
Sleeping alone,
Then it came to be,
I asked out loud,
What about me?
Don’t I deserve that?
Comfort from my fears,
Someone to wipe my tears,
Someone to love me,
Hold me tight,
Not one to run,
When I cry at night,
Well I’m old,
Ain’t a baby,
Seems here lately,
God is my comfort,
He is the one,
That has not forgot this son,
I have begun,
To rise up,
To feel ok,
To not be afraid,
To love myself unconditionally,
In his way…………………………………………
FenniganT 10.14.10

In Love

In love,
I peruse,
Integrity,
Faith,
Trust,
Honor,
Tender,
Passion,
Compassion,
Empathy,
Affection,
Destiny,
Truth,
Honesty,
Real,
Forgiving,
Understanding,
Of self,
And you……………….
FenniganT 10.14.10

TRUST

Trust is similar to a dance. There is no formula, fear must not afflict it, trust is given, but one should not demand that it is shared, that's how love should be, with or without trust it must grow, if it is true love. At a level trust is a given, one must only be grateful. We drive down long stretches of road with oncoming vehicles just a few feet beside us in the opposite direction, and with all insanity we trust they are not going to make a mistake, or lose control, no one must impose the right and wrongs, no one must demand how each dance is performed, what is beautiful for you might not be so for the other, but then respect that. Sometimes trust is broken and over time we learn to trust those people again, our heart expands with this gesture. Other times, it’s lost forever when, we do not love enough. Sometimes the very people who broke trust can become your closest confidants, or love ones. He, who is forgiven much, loves much. You can build it into people’s lives. That is why love is the greatest; it surpasses offence, and makes beauty out of shame. If you believe in love, I think you ought to believe that it is unconditional, that said, the sheer concept of trust to which everyone seems wired upon, and things that make relationships turn messy must be halted.

My Walk

A walk,
A skip,
A miss,
A time,
A flower,
In the sun,
Been lied to,
With two rings,
I missed the fun,
Gut stings,
Knew the con,
May act stupid,
May act dumb,
May act blind,
Really just numb………….
FenniganT 10.14.10

Keep Away

What’s best?
Stay undressed,
Mouth shut,
On your knees,
I’m the only one,
To please,
Open up,
I’m cumin in,
Shut up,
Don’t need a friend,
Fuck up,
Make up,
Smear it,
Clear it,
I’m only here,
Not my fear,
Not me,
Only Fennigan,
To begin,
Again and again,
You don’t hear me,
You don’t see me,
I’m the best of me,
I’m the one that sets me free,
Cocky little fucker,
Rung that bell,
In the middle,
Of heaven and hell,
Can’t wait,
Can’t tell,
Keep away,
Take away,
Be afraid,
It’s the only way……………..
FenniganT 10.13.10

Best

Best of me,
Most I ever tried,
Not even once,
Have I lied,
Well maybe once,
Just now,
Fucking clown,
Drown down,
Swimming free,
Fuck you,
Well fuck me,
Double standards,
Double tree,
Double vision,
Double you,
Double me,
Best I ever did,
Never lied,
Well maybe,
This time…………
FenniganT 10.13.10

Free of Me

Bent back,
Heavy load,
Strong shoulder,
Overload,
Despise,
Disoblige,
Self contained,
Not refrained,
In the cage,
Short term rage,
Fills this page,
To relate,
To my fate,
Of this place,
Of this call,
I seen it all,
Became most,
A toast,
To the Holy Ghost,
Makes the most,
Is the host,
Of my sanity,
Amongst calamity,
Keeps me free,
Of me!!!!!!!
FenniganT
10.2.10

No Thanx!

Weed?
No thanx,
Whisky,
No thanx,
Stimulation,
What a crank,
Desire,
Broke the bank,
Love,
Emptied the tank,
Ship done sank,
Take that to the bank,
Overdrawn,
Carry on,
More,
No Thanx,
Whore,
No thanx,
Swore,
Swear,
Declare,
Fair is fair,
No Thanks!………..
FenniganT 9.13.10

TEXT

Texting,
Besting,
Testing,
For sure,
Leave you,
Missing,
Processing,
What pure,
Nothing,
To See,
No memory,
Just hierocracy,
No democracy,
Just hypocrisy,
Lost on me,
Lost on you,
What to do?
Pick up the fucking phone………..
FenniganT 9.13.10

DIG

In,
Time,
Light,
Shine,
Broke,
Open,
Heart,
Break,
Fake,
Bake,
Simmer,
Boil,
Deaths,
Door,
No,
Friend,
In,
Sin,
Alone,
Gone,
By,
Tomorrow,
Cry,
Alone,
Dig,
Dug,
Trust,
Never,
Again…………
FenniganT 9.13.10

Ivory Tower

Stay,
Away,
Play,
Dead,
Fed,
Bed,
Shrug,
Smug,
Thug,
Love,
Dug,
Deep,
Creep,
Seep,
Sleep,
Grow,
Pain,
Rain,
Sunshine,
Flower,
Power,
Hour,
After,
Hour,
Gone,
Sour,
Living in your ivory tower……..
FenniganT 9.13.10

From Fenn to Fennigan

I poke you,
I prod you,
I stroke you,
With poison pen,
I fake you,
I stake you,
For every mistake,
I rake you,
Over the coals,
We only knows,
Where I goes,
And Why,
I fold you under,
I strike the thunder,
That comes from within,
Just try to let it go,
You won’t,
Let it show,
As I stick you once again,
In this poem,
From Fenn,
To Fennigan
9.13.10

Silenced

Scars,
Fade away,
Scabs,
Peel away,
Refrain,
Take away,
Nothing,
To you,
Wuz sumthin,
To Me,
Nuthin to me,
Iz everything to you,
Real,
Open,
Pain,
Looksee,
Oopsie,
Wanted it,
Not done it,
No need to run,
What it,
Done,
Dumb me,
Silenced,
Now,
Best still,
Taken away…………
FenniganT 9.12.10

One with out the other..........

What’s one?
Without,
The other,
Pleasure pain,
Mother father,
Brother Sister,
Friend Lover,
Strong Weak,
Tall Short,
Round Square,
Begin End,
Start Finish,
Honest Lie,
Rules Chaos,
Ying Yang,
Balance Fell,
Door Bell,
Rang your name,
Come on in,
Lay your claim,
Living Dying,
All should be the same,
In the end,
Throw that stone,
Left alone,
To forgive without sin……..
FenniganT 9.12.10

Reach

Just in,
No grasp,
Think hard,
Look fast,
Catch up,
Drop it,
Fall,
Fuck it,
Lose it all,
Reach,
A little higher,
A little farther,
A little longer,
Coin flip,
Rule change,
Whose game,
I wonder?
Who’s playing?
To fit,
To forget,
It was you,
After all……………..
Fennigan T 9.12.10