It's not easy

Grace please hold us
Pain has seared through
Binding us to see
In our missing you

Every day a freezing
In a long night,
Of screaming
Souls in flight

Just to hold you
See your smile
In Gods shining blue
All the while

We have walked left
We have walked right
Lost our best
Fought our fight


We give you now,
A bow to the wind
Still not knowing how
We lost you friend.......................

FTBAS 2.20.13

R.I.P. Andrew Cory Martin June 1, 1990 - Feb 8, 2013

Even in our sleep,
pain which cannot forget
falls drop by drop upon the heart until…
in our despair,
against our will,
comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.
- Aeschylus

Astray

Love is open,
I am closed,
Cheap is my token,
Of negatives exposed.


I've run away,
Sunk into the pain,
Hoping I pray,
For a summer rain.

My tears hard,
Eyes squeezed,
Mind barred,
Nothing pleased.

Against my memory,
I smash the wall of time,
It won't let me be,
I can't see the sublime.

That I was supposed to know................

FTBAS 2.16.13

Rain

A week of Angels,
Close in darkness of tonight,
Three's in tangles,
Shining so bright,
Clouds of inspiration,
Forever flowing forth,
Sour grapes and crushed ego's,
Bi lines between the source,
Outcome of no dry eye,
Simple question of why?
Shiver of love cross my spine,
Sunlight decreases in my sublime,
Ripples of fear,
Hours of frustration,
Moments so dear,
I dare not touch them,
Sometimes sometimes,
One hundred and sixty eight hours that's all,
We didn't know then,
A little rain must fall......................

Fennigan Tyler Spencer
2/15/13

The last time we said goodbye

You were drinking and so was I,
I saw the twinkle in your eye,
That swagger and stance,
Happy in romance.
We played pool,
I talked like a fool,
Then lost one on purpose,
So nobody would feel worthless.
We clinked our glasses to many more,
Needless to say when we walked out that door,
I would never see you again,
With that flashy smile.
Rest in peace my friend,
You have walked the longest mile,
My sadness cries "why you were alone"?
With my grief now set in daughters stone,
We will not  forget you as we live on,
We will continue on with your loving song.............

Rest in peace little brother rest in peace

Fennigan Tyler Spencer 2.8.13

A little tickle

As my prize,
Over your lies,
I hunger flame,
Sights my game.

In disguise,
I surprise,
So tame,
No shame,

In my vise,
Frozen slice,
It's plane,
Your insane,

I am wise,
You'll surmise,
Of your game,
In your blame.

So to realize,
My soul fly's,
Your loved the same,
As your tongue tickles my name............................

FTBAS 2.7.13

Behind

Today I am so far behind that if I could reach through tomorrow I would still not be able to catch the ass end of yesterday.
FTBAS 2.6.13

Gumpin

Well aint that sumthin,
We all been missin,
A subject and title,
Without a lesson,
On how to smile,
Just a being,
Like a freeing,
In what Im seeing,
Of human being,
Somes smart,
Super intelligence,
All of us fart,
Even if you cant tell who it was,
If they don't bleed normal,
Another color than red,
Well maybe then forget what I said,
But sense you knows I'm write,
And my balance aint no beam,
All this righting has never been,
Never was,
As Forest said,
Stupid is,
As stupid does........................

FBTAS 1.5.13

Differences

All in happenstance,
Is supposed elegance,
Literally a trance,
The grand entrance.

Diving souls affront,
Opening minds triumph,
Begins the body dump,
Before a prayers trump.

One way or the other,
Gambles to bother,
Sister or brother,
Mother to father.

Still we divide,
Blood bonds tried,
Outside to inside
Differences  lied.

Solution mainstream,
Dreaming downstream,
All on the I team,
No access unseen...............................

FTBAS 2.3.13

Off The Grid

Angels give mercy,
Demons steal lies,
All to hurt free,
Without the whys,

Digging deaper,
Open the wound,
Scab creeper,
Stale parfum,

Daily dance,
Dilly dally,
Smarty pants,
Meet in the ally,

On the corner,
Cross the street,
One loner,
Underneath,

What they want,
What you did,
All alone,
Off the Grid..............


FTBAS 1.31.13