Its something you can’t find
It’s not in a bottle
It’s not in a pill
Not looking you have to see
Not seeing you have to feel
Something that everybody wants
Some will even kill
Waiting for it
Whole lives revolve around it
A place of never knowing
Always wondering why
Is it the beginning?
Or maybe the end
Some will never find it
The search can never end
All around me the search goes on………..
Fennigan T 10-29-09
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Depth
I have been in a place so long. Where people really don't care about the soul only the flesh. My guarded shell does not reflect my soul it only shields it. From those who will use my good nature, as an excuse to get close enough, to reach in my pocket. I am sorry if that's sounds dreary, but it is depth I crave, not the shallowness that surrounds me. Fennigan Spencer 2009
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Tell Me Why
Ok here it is, as blunt as I can be
Tell me why, you set it free
You say I was not able
To see the fruit on the table
You say I manipulated, never let you be
You say it was never about you
Always about me
Tell me why, I can’t see it that way
I gave all I had, except when I thought
That you would take it away
I began to wonder
Felt like I was dead
You would tell me
It was all in my head
You say I would guilt trip
Change it all around
Put it on somebody else
That’s not what I have found
Tell me why, what I see
Is the same as everybody else?
That you’re the selfish one
The one that cut no slack
The one that spoke with out a word
The one that stabbed me in the back
Just cause you won’t admit it
Denial won’t let you be
Doesn’t mean that it’s not visible
To all who can see
What you don’t understand
Is nobody wants to feel your rage
My cards where a bad hand
That fine with me
Unlocked from your cage
First it was love, now it is pity
For you and yours
To not get it, to not even try
I will always endure
If it’s not true then tell me why
If fair is fair the tell me why
That it seems as if
It’s all been in revenge
All been in hate
Never been in the love
That we could make
Fennigan T 11-7-09
Tell me why, you set it free
You say I was not able
To see the fruit on the table
You say I manipulated, never let you be
You say it was never about you
Always about me
Tell me why, I can’t see it that way
I gave all I had, except when I thought
That you would take it away
I began to wonder
Felt like I was dead
You would tell me
It was all in my head
You say I would guilt trip
Change it all around
Put it on somebody else
That’s not what I have found
Tell me why, what I see
Is the same as everybody else?
That you’re the selfish one
The one that cut no slack
The one that spoke with out a word
The one that stabbed me in the back
Just cause you won’t admit it
Denial won’t let you be
Doesn’t mean that it’s not visible
To all who can see
What you don’t understand
Is nobody wants to feel your rage
My cards where a bad hand
That fine with me
Unlocked from your cage
First it was love, now it is pity
For you and yours
To not get it, to not even try
I will always endure
If it’s not true then tell me why
If fair is fair the tell me why
That it seems as if
It’s all been in revenge
All been in hate
Never been in the love
That we could make
Fennigan T 11-7-09
Thursday, March 10, 2005
UOTSIDE
Once inside I feel
Outside the circle
The pain is real
So close to the middle
I don’t think
In my reality
Or far off
In local fatality
I can’t find it
Refuse to see
Another route
To insanity
Oh well fuck this
I don’t care
Who gives a piss?
What’s fair?
Fennigant 2005
Outside the circle
The pain is real
So close to the middle
I don’t think
In my reality
Or far off
In local fatality
I can’t find it
Refuse to see
Another route
To insanity
Oh well fuck this
I don’t care
Who gives a piss?
What’s fair?
Fennigant 2005
To Forget
Today the sun went dark
Today the last eagle died
Today well fell off the earth
And no one cried
Yesterday someone forgot how to love
Then failed to remember
That we lost a thousand years
Inside our enlightened slumber
Tomorrow the last of us
Will forget today has gone by
Yesterday is the future we look for
Where we all begin to die
Without rewind or turnkey
Anything is nothing to be
Change forever obligated
Saturated to please
In conception we forget
To score baggage, damage, claim
It is all in the rue
When love turns to pain…………
FenniganT 2005
Today the last eagle died
Today well fell off the earth
And no one cried
Yesterday someone forgot how to love
Then failed to remember
That we lost a thousand years
Inside our enlightened slumber
Tomorrow the last of us
Will forget today has gone by
Yesterday is the future we look for
Where we all begin to die
Without rewind or turnkey
Anything is nothing to be
Change forever obligated
Saturated to please
In conception we forget
To score baggage, damage, claim
It is all in the rue
When love turns to pain…………
FenniganT 2005
Friday, May 14, 1999
Sum
In one now,
Following through,
To dissipate,
When you can’t relate,
Like a creature of night,
Silent sleep never dies,
Beaten path traveled,
To go be unraveled,
Got dam revolution on me brain,
Pushing the limits again,
Who’s lazy?
Who’s crazy?
Who’s gonna die this time?
Everyone’s lost,
I don’t follow,
You may lead,
I’m always me,
Push the edge,
Begin again,
Chance the end,
It’s been said,
Sum is better off dead,
The truth comes off,
Cursed and buried,
In this hell of humans,
So we are tossed,
That we don’t know,
Fooled again,
Thinking human……
FenniganT “99”
Following through,
To dissipate,
When you can’t relate,
Like a creature of night,
Silent sleep never dies,
Beaten path traveled,
To go be unraveled,
Got dam revolution on me brain,
Pushing the limits again,
Who’s lazy?
Who’s crazy?
Who’s gonna die this time?
Everyone’s lost,
I don’t follow,
You may lead,
I’m always me,
Push the edge,
Begin again,
Chance the end,
It’s been said,
Sum is better off dead,
The truth comes off,
Cursed and buried,
In this hell of humans,
So we are tossed,
That we don’t know,
Fooled again,
Thinking human……
FenniganT “99”
Tuesday, March 16, 1999
Missing Link
Missing Link
Out of myself begging to be
Flying across freedoms sky
To you I become me
I will not question why
The confusion is here
So rough it’s not to print
Hold on tight my dear
I’m going where my sanity went
Out the door
Is chance to late?
Going to back before
To change my fate
Will I grow tired here?
Begging for a change
All I see is fear
It’s strange to rearrange
Maybe same as before
All seems different
Entering the same door
Was straight now bent?
A puppet for show
The good inside sings
For happiness a chance to grow
While evil cuts the strings
I think it’s up to me
The fateful route to choose
One to feel free
The other to loose
Don’t say in any way
No not you my friend
Stop this you say
Listen to the message you send
I know I talk loud
It’s all bullshit for all to see
Maybe if I weren’t to proud
I to could go free
FenniganT 1996
Out of myself begging to be
Flying across freedoms sky
To you I become me
I will not question why
The confusion is here
So rough it’s not to print
Hold on tight my dear
I’m going where my sanity went
Out the door
Is chance to late?
Going to back before
To change my fate
Will I grow tired here?
Begging for a change
All I see is fear
It’s strange to rearrange
Maybe same as before
All seems different
Entering the same door
Was straight now bent?
A puppet for show
The good inside sings
For happiness a chance to grow
While evil cuts the strings
I think it’s up to me
The fateful route to choose
One to feel free
The other to loose
Don’t say in any way
No not you my friend
Stop this you say
Listen to the message you send
I know I talk loud
It’s all bullshit for all to see
Maybe if I weren’t to proud
I to could go free
FenniganT 1996
Sunday, March 14, 1999
Idea of You!
Sarcastic and hateful
The way you play me
Although never dull
I wish to be free
Your iciness
Chills to the bone
As your hopelessness
Goes on and on
Taken for granted
This love I gave
Acting as if I were related
To your worldly grave
Running blind foolish and all
The only time I stop is after the fall
Carefully peacefully I replace the lock
Despising the idea of you
A complete feeling of dread
You don’t even have a clue
Your living with the dead
With your running of mouth
It sickens my very soul
Why have you taking this route
Is misery your only goal?
Well fuck you now
And fuck you forever
No more will I allow
No not now not ever!
It’s up to you
Your life I say
You wouldn’t take a clue
I will stay away
I hate to see it
Closed eyes to you
My only regret
To you I will never be true….
FenniganT 99
The way you play me
Although never dull
I wish to be free
Your iciness
Chills to the bone
As your hopelessness
Goes on and on
Taken for granted
This love I gave
Acting as if I were related
To your worldly grave
Running blind foolish and all
The only time I stop is after the fall
Carefully peacefully I replace the lock
Despising the idea of you
A complete feeling of dread
You don’t even have a clue
Your living with the dead
With your running of mouth
It sickens my very soul
Why have you taking this route
Is misery your only goal?
Well fuck you now
And fuck you forever
No more will I allow
No not now not ever!
It’s up to you
Your life I say
You wouldn’t take a clue
I will stay away
I hate to see it
Closed eyes to you
My only regret
To you I will never be true….
FenniganT 99
Lies
Creating a stoned womb
Hiding in our deluxe imagination
The end is coming soon
For all of our imitation
Honesty bonds us tight
Straight talk is clear
Living is how we fight
When living in fear
Con our way through all
Avoiding the ones who see
Binding begins in fall
Spring to set us free
For we can not trust
These limits of unknown
We do as they must
In zero control zone
Immaculate our making
God we are all
Our little worlds are waiting
Our beck and call
Why we don’t know this
Not only I do you see
But all and forever this
Might and magic within the
Answer the prayer quick
My little one
I am about to be sick
With all this fun…….
FenniganT 99
Hiding in our deluxe imagination
The end is coming soon
For all of our imitation
Honesty bonds us tight
Straight talk is clear
Living is how we fight
When living in fear
Con our way through all
Avoiding the ones who see
Binding begins in fall
Spring to set us free
For we can not trust
These limits of unknown
We do as they must
In zero control zone
Immaculate our making
God we are all
Our little worlds are waiting
Our beck and call
Why we don’t know this
Not only I do you see
But all and forever this
Might and magic within the
Answer the prayer quick
My little one
I am about to be sick
With all this fun…….
FenniganT 99
Wednesday, March 10, 1999
Here I go
Insanity is the cry of guilty madmen,
Only we so stained inside know the scream,
Inside the depths it climbs,
High above the pit of the soul,
Drowning in a sea of black, here I go
Craving consistent demolition
Pardon of grey fearing the night
Cold stare reaching fast
Terminates any future or past
Sacred and dying
Chivalry of the heart
Bleeding me of being
All around in and out
Here I go
Purchased and paid for, that I am.
Light is shining to nowhere
Don’t want and never did,
But here I go………
FenniganT. 1999
Only we so stained inside know the scream,
Inside the depths it climbs,
High above the pit of the soul,
Drowning in a sea of black, here I go
Craving consistent demolition
Pardon of grey fearing the night
Cold stare reaching fast
Terminates any future or past
Sacred and dying
Chivalry of the heart
Bleeding me of being
All around in and out
Here I go
Purchased and paid for, that I am.
Light is shining to nowhere
Don’t want and never did,
But here I go………
FenniganT. 1999
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